ColorMe Lavender

So it's started again
my desire to feel your lips
your gaze telling me you want me
you need me

I've begun again to whisper your name
when no one's around
day dream on fancied romances
And the parts of your body that remain foreign

I feel this love
I've cast away with such hate
so many times
but it always returns

I want you out of my head
I know you'll just fuck with it
I won't give it too you
even if for once I thought you might accept it

you know you know you tease me
that I don't deserve your taunting gaze
and sudo sexual innuendos
but I guess somewhere in your mind
desire sets in

whispering false hoods
that you want me in some sense
even if you just went through with a mistake
it would be the best thing that ever happened to me
the best chance

for something that I know will never happen

And the thing I can't get over my head
is if I'd rather have never met you
I can't make a clean cut
with all others I've known

whether the lessons I've learned
were worth it
whether the pain, the sorrow
and the joy and knowledge
made an even deal

but with you I don't know
and never will
I've wished, but am not able
to have you let me in