slit my thoughts
and digest me in your gaze
you're mind is like a poison
mine the harbinger of you disease
just point me in the right direction
I know you find my ties more then a little flammable
you're lust for fire
has never more dangerous then right now
since you've laid it out for me
I might as well take it
follow your path
which leads to my death
locked up in your stare
our thoughts meet
just for a second
lost in a merger
an eternity in a hour
every second a year
every moment an day
in a flash I knew you better then you know yourself
as I learn your plan
just as you know mine
I realize we're not so different
just as I don't know what I write
you don't know who you are
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3 comments:
it's amazing how much youre writng makes me think. about things in my life which i needed to question. in a way, its odd, since you wrote it about yours. and i saw you changed the ending of colorme aventurine. its nice to know you can find forgivness and not hold a bewilling grudge. keep writng. it makes my reading worth while.
“Color Me Livid” (http://colormelivid.blogspot.com/) is an attempt at poetry that is not often seen but is typically used in jest, as a stereotype for “emo” teens. The melodramatic pouring of words begins with the first word and doesn’t cease till long after it should. Each individual “poem” promising to represent a different take upon different emotions proves to be almost identical to the previous in style, diction, and content. If one were to simply eliminate the separate titles and merge paragraphs, one would be left with a poem nearly as epic as the Iliad.
The blog entry begins with a poem called “ColorMe Green.” The dramatic images start to manifest. The author is so caught up in his feelings that grammatical errors such as, “mine the harbinger of you disease” appear quite frequently throughout the work. Another such example comes from the second to last full stanza.
“an eternity in a hour
“every second a year
“every moment an day
“in a flash I knew you better then you know yourself”
This work is obviously done with either a level of carelessness or little mastery of English grammar, leaving a student to be the culprit. One can assume that the teenage poet is also male due to the nature of his profile, stating that he is in fact male. This being the case, the author is indeed a teenage male who seems to have a lot of passion behind what he writes but little instruction of style and form, not necessarily his fault.
It is slightly painful for the same emotion to saturate every line of every poem in the blog. The theme of unrequited love or affection seeps from line to line, from “ColorMe Green” to “ColorMe Jade” and so forth. The grammatical errors also continue throughout the work as a whole, but are juxtaposed with a few rare gems. In “ColorMe Red” the author attempts rhyming several times.
“lock me up in your room
“let me know your insides
“oh the joyous occasion where
“our lips touch, our tongues collide”
It’s obvious that the author’s feelings are the life and drive of his poetry, but I personally believe that it gets the better of him. He seems to be trying so hard to sound good, worthy, educated, or talented that it masks his words with pressure. It could be that, or it could be that the author simply does not care and is simply venting his frustrations. With the text containing such emotional rants, I highly doubt it is the latter. Either way, this is continued from poem to poem, line to line, till the very end.
Anyone can certainly appreciate the uninhibited writings of a young individual, it’s refreshing, but to put all of these emotions out there for the rest of the world to see seems a little much. Hopefully the author was desiring some sort of public scrutiny here or there, otherwise his best bet was a diary made of paper and binding instead of the binary, silicon sort, free to the wandering, critical eyes of the entire cyber world.
you honestley get me everytime with your poetry jellyfish man. :D
i have one for valentines day but i'll probably send you it anyways.
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